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Released on March 2, 2023, Sad Gurl Hourz: El Libro is my first book to be published and distributed by Mundo de la Madre. To celebrate the amazing success and reflections my first book brought me, I wanted to provide a free online version (available until the end of year).
Sad Gurl Hourz is a love letter to myself and all my past versions of self I have had to experience in order to be who I am today. Writing about love as a poet can often feel extremely cliche and almost too easy. In thinking about my writing goals, I always wanted my first book to be something special and *BIG*! After many manuscripts were left half written and forgotten, the perfect idea came to me.
It was January 2023 and I was vacationing in my home state of Michoacán, Mexico -- Indulging in LOVE, with myself, my family, and culture. My trip to my hometown was everything I needed in that specific moment and time. I learned so much about my family and fell so deeply in love with the experience. Mid way thru my trip I had a moment of reflection. Sitting in my grandmothers chairs I wrote the following journal entry:
1/22/2023
Aquarius new moon:
New energy
of life beyond us
The veil is thin
Feelings of the future
an insight
Feelings of clarity
allowing the unknown
to feel familiar
Reconnecting on the land
that birthed my tias
EVERYTHING I AM
I set the intentions to continue
aligning
healing
releasing
My higher self knows
where I am lacking
needing support
I call myself back from all
places
timelines
Any place I no longer belong
in
or
to
I am a poet
I am a mother
I am powerful
Strong as can be in all my power
I am a descendant of all the powerful women that came before me
Pieces of them walking within me.
Everything I could ever need already lives within me
Coming back to the States in February 2023, I felt the deep heart ache of leaving my overly romanticized vacation. So what I'd do? Write about it. I took all my sad love poems, wrote new ones, and put them all perfectly together to create this book. I wanted my first book to be the most vulnerable art form, a deep look and feel into my heart space -- Setting the precedent for all my writing.
In writing these poems and creating the beautiful book I learned that writing about love is an extremely vulnerable act. It's the bravest experience to open my heart up to all the love I had experienced (and lost) then turn around and write about it for the world to read. Throughout the process I had finally allowed myself a safe space to process the grief of heartbreaks. What got me here (finally)? In short, it was the experience of free love. It felt so open and unconditional, a contrast to any other experience I had before. Having this experience showed me how vulnerable you truly need to be in order to invite love into your life, beyond superficial levels. It taught me that even leaving can be a loving experience. My trip was an abundant sea of love that took me deep into the waves and brought me back to shore in the most loving way.
Writing about all the people and situations that have broken my heart and keeping it real is my way of reclaiming my power. Enjoy✨